Lower Expectations

Chapstick

(2 Min Read)

I dated this guy for a few weeks and he was an asshole, but I’d had a distance-crush on him for ages, so I just kept seeing him even though everything he did made it seem like he really didn’t like me much at all. One day, he says something about his lips being dry and the next time I saw him, I bought him some chapstick because I thought it would be a nice gesture and maybe he would love me more, or at all. So then on Facebook, a few days later, he posted that he ‘is chapping’ and I thought it was really sweet (and, admittedly, a little odd) that he liked the chapstick I got him so much that he posted about it online. It was later explained to me that ‘chapping’ is what one does when the drugs in their system make them chew the inside of their mouth.

One time, he stood me up for dinner. I waited over an hour at the restaurant and I guess I’m still waiting for a text to apologise or tell me he’s running late.

One time, we went out to meet his friends at some karaoke bar and he left me entirely alone and I didn’t know anyone, so I just left. On my way out, one of his friends, who had tried to hit on me in the past, told me that my boyfriend was cheating on me constantly. I said nothing and walked away.

Eventually, I decided to break up with him because he wasn’t a great person and also drugs scared me and also, I guess he was cheating on me, though I never got confirmation. So I took him to a restaurant to do it because my friend convinced me it was better to do it in public and then I could walk out and leave him there alone like he had left me alone in the restaurant that time. Also, I was his ride, so he would be stranded and we thought that would be some decent revenge. But as we sat down, the waiter came over and turns out they were friends and I couldn’t break up with him in front of his friend. So I said I felt sick and I left and on the way to the car, I sat down outside someone’s house and I cried and somewhere in between the tears, I told him I wanted to break up with him and gave him all the reasons and he was really upset, though it came out as anger, which didn’t make sense because I was so sure he didn’t even like me, and then he said, ‘Fuck you,’ and stormed off and then I stopped crying.